We have all see the films were Mr Right and Mrs Right are in the same place at the same time yet miss each other over and over again. We hate that we have to wait until the last ten minutes of the film to see what an actual interaction between the two looks like.
He is in the same coffee shop as her, yet due to him having a newspaper blocking his face she cannot see him. Just as he puts his newspaper down, she bends down to pick her napkin off the floor, the table is then blocking him from getting a glimpse of his love. Of course once she is about to sit back up, he returns to reading. She collects her things and exits the coffee shop, never knowing she could have encounter her love that day.
I feel as if this scenario occurs everyday. Either in a conversation with a friend, never truly understanding what they are trying to explain. Maybe in a conversation with my Mom when she is explaining difficulties she has, and either I do not find compassion, or I find offense. There are so many little moments in life that I miss, because I am not paying attention.
I hear it all the time from people, "Amber where are you?" If I were honest I would admit I clock out alot, I go to a place in my mind where the troubles of life are soon to vanish. I wish I could stay there until they all did vanish.
I feel I am in the same room as God. He is sitting at a diner, drinking coffee, black. I am sitting across from Him sipping down an iced latte. He stares. I continue sipping my iced latte. He stares. He will not stop staring. The question crosses my mind, "what will happen if I look up?" "Why am I scared to look up?"
He stares.
As we continue to sit there I begin to see a lesson He is trying to teach me in the silence.
His coffee is black, bold coffee. He is one that doesnt need anything added to Him. He stares because no moment, no minute no second is out of His sight. I am not out of His view.
My coffee is iced, because I cannot stand anything hot. I hate controversy. I hate the heated moment life brings. There is a chance if I get a hot drink, that I will get burned. I don't have time to get hurt, I don't have time for controversy, I don't want to feel.
I eventually look up and this is what I see,
I see a tree that is growing, roots deep in the ground. The sun comes and goes down, The rain comes and the tree is watered, The sky is bright and everything looks green. Then the sky turns dark, the storm comes, limbs fall, yet the tree still stands. The tree looked different when those limbs fall off. In that moment I realized what it was I was seeing. It was how fast I felt a season had changed. I was that tree living in what seemed to be a productive place, the season soon changed. I watched those limbs grow, and leaves grow on those limbs, now they are no longer a part of me. It wasnt easy watching them fall of. For they were things in my life that I fed. Relationships that I poured into, dreams that I had wished would come alive. Now they were gone.
I longed to know what this visual was that I saw in His eyes. In my life, I struggle with taking my eyes off the dead limbs. Those things the Lord pruned. It has been four months since the Lord took one limb away from me. A limb that I felt I nourished more than the rest. I watched leaves grow from his limb. When I lost it in that storm, I somehow wished I could go back in time and nourish it less so I could maintain the tree instead of one limb.
I feel God is calling me to look at life as something that needs to be observed closely, not something that I push off waiting for some amazing fruit to grow. I need to look at life closely, living every moment to the fullest. The tree truck itself is me. The tree is not hollow within, it is my heritage, everything and everyone who spoke life into me, The truck is my heart, my love, my dream, my passion. The limbs and branches and the things I am involved in, church, work, film. The leaves are the beautiful people that are or will be reached through what I am involved in.
I need to look closely at what is going on around me and the beautiful stories being told and shared.
I want to watch Jenna be a mom for the first time to her new pup Jericho.
I want to encourage Leigh as she finishes up her masters. Knowing that she is the brighest masters student ever.
I want to learn more about Kevins time travel ideas and see what He will be drawing next.
I want to remind my new brother that I think its beautiful that He runs 5Ks, and is encouraging those around him to get into running.
I want to watch Allyson as she encourages and adds beauty to these kids lives, while they change her life.
I want my Italian friend to know that even though her husband clocked out, God never did. I want to watch her turn her life toward this love.
I want to watch my best friend, emerge from an akward season to only realize it was the most beatiful season with God.
I want to watch Unveiled yearn and burn for the Living God.
I want to continue to watch Stephen grow into the man God dreamed over Him two summers ago.
I want to listen more when my parents need someone to talk to, not try to rush them because I wish the conversation was more encouraging.
I want to forgive and be forgiven.
I want to love my family even when I wish they chose a different path, and watch as that action changes the path they do choose.
I want to watch all the things God promised me come to pass, I want to watch it even when it seems as if it is not moving.
I want to watch ALL the big and little BEAUTIFUL moments around me.
